Coaching and Deconstruction Part 2 

Life coaching can be a powerful tool to help individuals in crisis. Depending on the specific situation, a life coach can help clients identify their values and goals, develop a plan to move forward, and provide ongoing support and accountability. Additionally, a coach can help their client build the resilience and coping skills necessary to navigate difficult situations and emerge stronger on the other side. One area a coach can be an invaluable helper is as a “deconstruction ally” in a client’s faith or spiritual journey.  

Sometimes, people don’t recognize how certain accepted discourses restrict their thinking, choosing, and decision-making. New ways of living seem out of reach or unattainable. They may have begun spiritual deconstruction independently or been nudged by a therapist or close friend who recognized they were struggling. In the end, deconstruction is not something to be feared or dismissed but is understood as a simple dismantling of the old taken-for-granted assumptions and constructs, examining how they fit with our current values and evolving beliefs, and rebuilding something new and personally meaningful. Through this journey, we may feel fragile, uncertain, and even frightened as we consider new ideas and ways of living. At the same time, we feel the excitement of possibility, vision, and insight. 

An experienced coach is able to sit with the uncertainty and grief of their client’s faith deconstruction and, at the same time, cultivate curiosity about the future. They might explore questions like: 

• What does your faith/ spirituality mean to you? How does it inform your life decisions? 
• What is your faith tradition (if any), and what faith teachings or ideas have most impacted your life? Are you happy with this impact? 
• Does your faith/spirituality bring you joy? Why or why not? 

• What ideas do you have that keep you acting or responding in a certain way? 
• Where did you learn those ideas? Do you feel positively or negatively about them? 
• Who in your life reminds you that you must continue to live by those ideas?  
• What areas of your life keep reinforcing those ideas? 
• What is the story of your life you want to write? How is faith/spirituality part of that story -or is it? 

• How can you begin? What is the first sentence of your story… 

These are a few questions I might ask a client as we explore their deconstruction narrative. 

Remember, the coach isn’t “writing the story.” They are keeping a good listener posture, holding space for whatever needs to be examined and explored, asking provocative questions unique to each client, and offering support and accountability through the journey. 

The beauty of deconstruction is not the journey’s end but the journey itself. There is so much to learn about ourselves and about the possibilities before us. A coach can be the ideal traveling companion!